Installing Healthy Boundaries – 5 Positive Changes You’ll Notice
Do you ever feel like you’re drowning in obligations? Like you’re constantly giving and giving, but never getting anything back. Do you get resentful, angry and frustrated when you don’t get what you need? Or feel drained and exhausted after seeing someone, or feeling like you’re being taken advantage of? If so it’s time to set boundaries. In this article, I’ll discuss 5 things that happen when you install healthy boundaries.
Why are healthy boundaries important?
Healthy boundaries are essential for our mental and emotional health. They help us to protect our time, energy, and resources. They also help us to maintain our sense of self-worth.
Symptoms of unhealthy boundaries
When you have unhealthy boundaries, you feel like you can’t say no to others, or you feel like you’re always giving and never getting. This can leave you feeling resentful, angry or frustrated. Often people who suffer from anxiety or depression, have low self-esteem or engage in self destructive behaviours have unhealthy boundaries, like over giving of themselves, saying yes to things that they didn’t really want to do. Recovering from being a fluffy overachieving people pleaser led me to understand I had poor boundaries, and it became necessary for me to overhaul my relationships and the access people had to me. As I became more energy sensitive, I started to notice who and what drained my energy. I would see someone and have an ok, sometimes quite a good time, but then for 3-5 days afterwards I would feel, depleted, depressed and anxious. With particularly toxic people it would be at least a week of feeling very drained, to the point where I would have to be laid down for most of the week. I started to recognise it happened when I saw particular people. It was so important for me to look at this – it was affecting my physical, mental and emotional health. I finally realised my energy levels weren’t going to improve until I installed healthy boundaries. Implementing boundaries isn’t always easy but it is very rewarding. It’s a process of changing your mindset, actions and energy. When you start installing healthy boundaries in your life you might find that people fall away from your life, or you have to cut them out of your life. Either way, there are many benefits of healthy boundaries. Now I’m going to talk about 5 positive changes you’ll notice after installing them.
5 things that happen when you install healthy boundaries
1. You feel more in control with your life
When you set boundaries, you are taking control of your own life and happiness. You are no longer letting others dictate how you should live. This is a wonderful time to delight in exploring what makes you feel good, having authority over your own decisions and nurturing yourself. When I went through this, I started exploring what felt good for me
2. You have more time for yourself
When you say no to things that you don’t want to do, you free up time for yourself to do the things that you do want to do. This can be anything from spending time with loved ones to pursuing your hobbies. This leads to increased health and energy because you’re receiving more than giving away your energy. It wasn’t until I really focussed in on boundary work that my health and my business improved, because I now had more energy available to focus on myself and my business.
3. You reduce stress and anxiety
When you don’t have to worry about constantly pleasing others or meeting their expectations, you can relax and enjoy life more. This can lead to a significant reduction in stress and anxiety. This can be a shock to some people who have had life long boundary issues and been engaged in toxic codependent relationships. Their nervous system has become hard wired to the toxic thrill all the stress and drama brings. I’ve had clients who installed boundaries then panicked because suddenly their life was a lot calmer. They literally didn’t know how to exist without the drama in their lives and were tempted to run back to the familiar – the subconscious loves to stay in the familiar, and it’s our responsibility to rewire the subconscious to a new normal – where peace and calm reign. When you’ve had poor boundaries your whole life it’s a process of unlearning old habits and learning new healthier boundary habits.
4. You improve your relationships
When you set healthy boundaries, you are teaching others how to treat you. The relationships you have can shift dramatically – some will fall away, as they can’t exist in this new paradigm, whilst others will ultimately become stronger as they are built on more equality and authenticity rather than power dynamics. That transition process can be hard, but the ultimate benefit is so great with the relationships that withstand this test. New relationships that come your way will be positively different from your past ones, notably built on a stronger foundation, with people respecting your new boundaries. Also by installing healthy boundaries with others, you start to recognise where you might inadvertently violate others’ boundaries. You change the way that you treat others, becoming more respectful of their boundaries, and so your relationships strengthen even more.
5. You increase your self-esteem
When you respect yourself enough to set boundaries, you are building your self-esteem. This can lead to a more positive outlook on life and a greater sense of self-worth. Having more self-esteem means that you trust yourself, you are confident in your own judgement and abilities. Installing healthy boundaries is a real act of self love and a journey to get to know yourself on a deeper level. When I did this, I began noticing that I felt more whole within – a resilience and stronger sense of self was born within myself. As a result I started noticing how my daily life changed – I felt more whole, my interactions were more confident, I became more sensitive to other’s energies and able to see the red flags very early on so I didn’t drain myself investing into relationships that were this old dynamic.
Installing healthy boundaries
If you are struggling with boundaries, it is important to remember that you are not alone. Many people struggle with this issue but they don’t have to. With time and effort, you can learn to set healthy boundaries and improve your life. It’s important to do for your overall wellbeing, so I encourage you to look at your current boundaries and where they could be healthier. When you install healthy boundaries, you feel more in control of your life, you have more time for yourself and your stress and anxiety is reduced. Your relationships improve and your self-esteem increases.
Do you want to install healthy boundaries?
If you have nagging feelings of anxiety, depression and low self esteem, if you find yourself being taken advantage of by others or feel exhausted or drained after seeing someone, or getting resentful, angry or frustrated with people then you probably have unhealthy boundaries – and I’d love to work with you to help you get these 5 benefits of installing healthy boundaries, so you can feel more confident, have more self esteem, with strong healthy boundaries, clearly expressing your needs.
Let’s chat and get the ball rolling. My Metamorphosis program is a great way to transform your life through upgrading your beliefs, removing blocks and manifesting your goals.
Whether you know what you want to do and need help removing the blocks that are in your way so that you can finally take action or you need help discovering what makes your heart and soul light up, this program is for you.
Read more about my signature Metamorphosis program.